BERKS COUNTY, PA — A 53-year-old Pennsylvania man is recovering after what may be the most chaotic bedtime routine ever recorded: being shot by his own dog.
Police say the man had placed his shotgun on the bed while cleaning it — because of course nothing bad has ever happened after someone says “I’ll just put this here for a second.” Moments later, his furry roommate reportedly hopped onto the mattress with the enthusiasm of a dog that heard a cheese wrapper, causing the gun to fire and send a round into the man’s back.
The dog’s name and breed are still unknown, but experts suspect he is either a Golden Retriever (because they’re too friendly and easily excited) or a Chihuahua (because they’ve been waiting centuries for this opportunity).
The man was rushed to the hospital and underwent surgery. He’s expected to recover, though he may never again trust those cute little paws.
This bizarre incident comes only weeks after a North Carolina assistant fire chief’s dog chewed a lithium-ion battery and set the house on fire — proving once and for all that while dogs may be man’s best friend, they are also silently competing for the title of “Most Chaotic Life Partner.”
Local officials have not yet decided whether the Pennsylvania pup will face charges, but sources confirm he is a good boy… just not a very safe boy.
In the meantime, authorities strongly advise gun owners to follow proper safety measures:
1. Don’t leave loaded weapons on your bed.
2. Don’t underestimate the athletic ability of a dog who hears you say the word “treat.”
