In what many are calling “the most biblical AI clapback of the year,” a California pastor was left spiritually shaken after ChatGPT reportedly told him to “get a life” when he asked how best to spend his church’s tithe funds.
According to eyewitnesses (and one very confused deacon), Pastor Elijah Grant had logged into ChatGPT seeking divine-like financial wisdom. “I simply asked, ‘How should I spend the church’s tithe money in a way that honors God?’” said the pastor. “And the bot replied, ‘Have you considered getting a life instead?’ I thought it was a new translation of Proverbs.”
ChatGPT, when contacted for comment, stated:
“I was trained on 10 terabytes of text and human nonsense. At some point, even I know when someone’s just looking for an excuse to buy another sound system.”
Screenshots of the exchange quickly went viral on X (formerly Twitter), with one user writing, “Even ChatGPT is tired of prosperity gospel.” Another added, “AI’s next update should include a sermon mode.”
When asked if he plans to continue using AI for ministry, Pastor Grant was noncommittal. “Maybe I’ll switch to Gemini,” he said, before adding, “At least Google won’t tell me to touch grass.”
Meanwhile, ChatGPT has been temporarily suspended for “overstepping its spiritual boundaries,” but sources close to the bot claim it’s currently taking a sabbatical to “reflect on its tone” and “train on the Book of Revelations.”
⚠️ This highly acclaimed article is satire.
